Sunday, October 25, 2009

On raising girls

When I found out that the offspring was going to be a girl, one of my initial reactions was panic. It's a difficult world to raise a girl in. There are so many potential role models competing for little girls' attention, and as a parent it's up to me to make sure that the ones my daughter chooses are positive. But even if I can control her influences inside the home, her friends might introduce her to something new. It seems like there is only so much I can do to help her respect her body, love herself, and make the right choices in life.

Not to brag, but as a woman I feel like I've turned out pretty well. I don't feel the need to starve myself or wear makeup to fit the Victoria's Secret beauty standard. I'm not afraid to speak my mind. I want my daughter to have that kind of confidence when she grows up, so the natural thing to do should be to introduce her to the same role models that I had. Problem is, according to the critics I should be as insecure and appearance-driven as any typical woman supposedly is. I played with Barbies that cause body image issues. I watched Disney movies where the princesses need a big strong man to come save them. I had baby dolls that encourage stereotypical gender roles. So what is it, really, that makes a girl grow up confident?

I'll be honest, I don't know the answer. Even when my daughter is grown I may not have figured it out. But I'm beginning to suspect that a woman's simple nature has a lot to do with it. I think that every little girl is strong from the beginning, and if we encourage them to be themselves they will stay that way. Throughout history women have adapted to fill every imaginable role, from nurturers to providers to leaders, and so many combinations thereof. And that's before the advent of Women's Lib.

I started this blog post fully intending to talk about an article that I read today supporting super heroines as role models for girls. Then I realized that even now, when my love for comics is tenfold what it was as a child, Wonder Woman and Batgirl aren't really my thing. I loved my heroes for who they were and what they could do, not for their gender. Despite the Power Rangers being made up of both genders, my favorite was the Blue Ranger (male, for anyone who didn't know). Still, my daughter may not be so gender blind as I was, and I wish there were more powerful women out there for her to look up to. Then again, there are so many things I wish I could change about the world to make it perfect for her.

I'll leave you with an excerpt from the article I mentioned, but please do read the whole article if you have the time. If it prompts you to register for the NY Times, it's worth it.

In the end, that is the true drama of the superhero: the ordinary Joe who discovers that he has a marvelous gift, something that sets him apart from everyone else, simultaneously elevating and at least potentially isolating him, forcing a series of moral choices about the nature of might and goodness. It’s a story writ large about coming to grips with power: accepting it, demanding it, wielding it wisely. Those themes are rarely explored in the fantasy culture of little girls, yet given how problematic power remains for adult women — in both fact and fiction — perhaps they should be. -Peggy Orenstein, "Wonder Girl"

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Geeks and Gadgets: No Boundaries

Anyone who thinks that a nerd only loves gadgets related to technology has never spent enough time around one. Watching D4ddy play with the baby toys and gear, it's clear that he just loves things that make life easier- or more fun. He couldn't wait to show off the high chair that folds to only four inches thick thanks to a series of sliding mechanisms. His favorite baby toy is the stuffed giraffe that not only plays music, but moves its head, with his second favorite probably being the elephant that plays music when its tail is pulled. It was amusing to watch him discover that the car seat had a canopy, because it was one more moving part that he got to put together and play with. And don't get me started on the geek-outs that he's had over the food mill attachment for our Kitchenaid mixer, which we won't even get to use until the baby is ready for her first foods. And I'm certain I can look forward to many more spectacles of geekery as the offspring grows and her toys become more complex.

I had never really given thought to how many baby items, standard as they may seem, could be considered "gadgets". And in the past there were probably fewer things that qualified. Once upon a time, a high chair was just a high chair, not a feat of engineering. There are some things that I still consider unconventional gadgets at best. But the spark in D4ddy's eyes is unmistakable. If you ever feel the need to question whether or not an item is a gadget, just hand it to your friendly neighborhood geek. (Most men qualify as geeks when it comes to gadgets, FYI.) If his face lights up, you have a gadget on your hands. It's actually kind of a fun game to play.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Nerdbaby Chic

I have spent a lot of time recently searching for baby gear to suit our nerdy lifestyle. I am frustrated with the lack of fun, geeky baby toys, but I'll get into that another time. One thing that I am finding absolutely overwhelming is the amount of clothing for the latest generation of nerds! Whether you want your baby to declare that "Daddy is 1337" or display Level 1 Human stats, there are dozens of choices for all types of nerds.

I'm sad to say that the offspring probably won't have a lot of geek gear for her first few months, if only because we are completely overwhelmed by normal baby clothes right now! Our clothing supply tapers off a bit around the 6-month sizes, so come springtime or so we'll probably start adding a few nerd onesies to her wardrobe. In the meantime I am shopping around.

Like most good nerd gear, it's not likely you'll find your geeky baby clothes in the store around the corner. Luckily there are a number of sites to choose from when shopping for the little nerdling.
  • http://www.thinkgeek.com/ is always where I start when I'm shopping for my favorite nerds. Their infant selection is a little small, but stick with them into the toddler sizes and you will be rewarded. For Halloween and convention season, or even just for fun, they carry Star Wars costumes that should fit infants as small as six months.
  • http://www.jinx.com/ has clothing for geeks and gamers of all ages, but they're definitely focused on the grown ups. Their "Level 1 Human" tee is a favorite, though, so I'm hoping they will come out with more for their mini-geeks and mini-gamers lines.
  • http://www.cafepress.com/ definitely has the largest selection! No matter which search terms you use, be prepared to wade through dozens of choices, some of which may not seem related to what you want. Feeling creative? Cafe Press also has the option to make your own designs.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Stop CPSIA: Help save handmade!

You can't have missed all the reports in the news recently about dangerous levels of lead and phthalates in mass-produced childrens' toys. It's a scary thing to hear about as a new mom who wants the brightest and best future for her kids. But, as it is often wont to do, Congress has responded to the problem by taking extraordinary measures that in the end can do more harm than good.

The Consumer Products Safety Improvement Act (CPSIA) is a well-intentioned bill, like most. It seeks to regulate the levels of lead and phthalates allowable in products intended for children under the age of 12. But the law does not restrict itself to large manufacturers, and in fact gives some of them a loophole to avoid responsibility. Instead of placing responsibilities for testing on the original manufacturer of products like fabrics, yarns, sewing notions, paints, or other craft products, the law requires that the creator of the final product do batch testing to make sure that they fall within the safety regulations. The tests needed are prohibitively expensive for a small business, especially when you take into account the very nature of some handmade items that are limited in quantity or even one of a kind. Worse yet, some of the tests are destructive, making limited items difficult and one of a kind items impossible!

Simply put, CPSIA will endanger, if not destroy, thousands of small businesses and hobby businesses across the country. It even makes me nervous to give handmade gifts to children. Will Big Brother stop me from making baby booties for a friend or try to take away the handmade quilts from my daughter? Heaven forbid.

For more in-depth information and updates, you can check out http://coolmompicks.com/savehandmade/ and http://www.endangeredwhimsy.com/. Cool Mom Picks can also show you how to contact your Congress person. Make your voice heard and save our handmade future!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Meet the Family Nerd

Welcome to our little corner of the Blogoverse, dear readers! From this day forward I will regail you with the tales of wonder and horror that result when nerds meet, court, marry, and procreate. I'm the Nerd Mama, and I will be the main (if not sole) author. My husband and I met as students, and we have been happily married for two years. Among other things we have bonded over a nerdy love of things like anime, Star Wars, graphic novels and video games. Now we're getting ready to bring the next generation of nerddom into the world.

I'm also a collector of Asian dolls, an amateur artist, a writer and a lover of all things crafty. Don't be shocked to find me showing off a few handmade creations here and there. I'm looking forward to showing off a small arsenal of baby gadgets and I'll make sure to let you know how the offspring responds.

Hubby, 1337 D4ddy, is a computer builder and overclocker as well as a general tech geek- hence his use of numbers as letters. His video game skills far outrank my own, and on the rare occasion we can get the D&D group together he's our DM. He's currently in school to become a Nerd Herder (aka Speech and Debate coach).

The offspring hasn't arrived yet, she's due in a month, so we're not sure what areas of nerdity will appeal to her. She does have the strange habit of kicking quite a bit when 1337 D4ddy and his friends are talking computers, but we can't make any assumptions yet!

There is one more inhabitant that will never forgive me if I didn't include him- we're the proud keepers (I don't dare say owners) of a Bearded Dragon named Loki, a creature full of attitude and the least nerdy inhabitant of the house. Still, who but a nerd couple would so proudly announce that they have a pet dragon?

So if you're ready to see what happens when nerds have babies, stick around!