Holidays Ahead!

I like Thanksgiving. Food and family, what's not to like? But when it comes to holidays I really have to give it to Christmas. First and foremost it is about celebrating the birth of Christ. I really don't care that Jesus was not actually born in December, or that the Christian church only chose to celebrate during this season to keep people from participating in a pagan fertility holiday. I don't care that the Christmas tree, the feasting, and the gift-giving are all carried over from said fertility holiday. That doesn't change the meaning of the season for me. No matter what the circumstances of my life as a whole, Christmas always leaves me feeling fulfilled and blessed. It's hard not to feel God's presence when you are surrounded by people who love you.

If there is any one tradition that I'd like to pass on to my daughter and any future children, it is simply that they be surrounded by family. I can't imagine a Christmas season without going to three or four family gatherings, minimum. Sometimes it seems overwhelming to schedule them all, especially now that I am married and we have even more family members to see. I imagine that if we lived far away from family I would scrimp and save all year to travel home. I love having everyone together.

Do remember though, I am a nerd. Not all of my holiday memories are pulled from Hallmark cards. Whenever my parents claim that they are not nerds, I remember a holiday tradition that, sadly, stopped when I moved out. My parents worked at school so we had a vacation all the way through the new year, and in the vacation days after Christmas we would watch the original Star Wars trilogy. With the movies fresh in our minds, we gathered around the table to play Star Wars trivia. My dad was always Darth Vader. Still, they won't label themselves nerds... I suppose I'll let them slide since I won so often.

Even my nerdy memories are about family. They're not always cool, or easy to put up with, but if I didn't have family I might as well have nothing.

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Mama Drama!

I wanted to make a Thankful post tonight, but instead I feel like I should write on a topic that has been bothering me.

I've seen it all over the place lately: mothers putting down other mothers, women insulting women, and always over petty issues. It's ridiculous. And I don't care if you do it without naming names, or if you hide it under the veil of "just your opinion". Your opinion, when you express it in a way that is derogatory, inflammatory, and self-righteous, can hurt people. And if you're okay with that, all I can say is that I'm sad for you.

I say 'you' not because I have anyone in mind, but because we have all been guilty of it. I have, too. It's so easy to sit in judgement, to pretend we know best. But what's the point? Who are we helping when we raise ourselves on a pedestal? And how will it ever change the world for the better?

If I were to bring my past self forward in time and tell her to give her opinion of my life, I think she would judge me harshly. After all, my daughter barely naps, gladly ignores the word 'no', climbs like a maniac, and sleeps in our bed despite my best efforts. I never thought this would be me. The only thing separating the two of us is the experience of raising the offspring, but it makes a world of difference. So how can you possibly criticize someone without knowing what they have gone through? What makes you think that your so-called success could repeat itself in their situation, or that your choices would make them happy?

I do have something to be thankful for. I have met a unique community of women with low doses of drama, gossip, and general unpleasantness. Some of us have nothing in common other than having children born in the same month, but we get along. Every woman should be able to find that kind of support system, but too often someone decides to be catty, or worse. It can ruin a woman. Words hurt.

Next time you decide the internet is your personal high horse, think again. If you really want someone to hear you, try treating them with respect. Educate instead of lecture, think instead of rant. Remember that your words have power, but with power comes responsibility.

Yes, I had to make that reference. This is a nerd blog after all.

One Year

Tomorrow is the offspring's first birthday. It seems like it has been a short year and has gone by far too quickly, but I know all parents say that. All day I have been remembering the twenty four hours leading up to her birth. I had been having so many contractions, and I was more than ready to lose twenty pounds or so. I love my daughter immensely, but pregnancy, especially that last month or so, is not really appealing to me. I was done. I was so lucky to have a relatively short and easy labor. I had time to chat with friends and family, make a number of facebook posts, and play a little Mario Kart to distract myself from contractions pre-epidural. I was able to genuinely enjoy my labor and delivery and all my memories are so great!

Even though I love to reminisce about those early days, I am glad the offspring is getting older because she is so much fun. Every day she learns and her personality grows. When she was tiny I could admire her tiny face, ears, nose, hands and toes. Now she can tell me where all of them are. I used to have to wave toys in front of her face to get a smile, but now she can fetch them for herself, often retrieving the one that I ask for. Many times she will wave them around to get our attention instead! There is not a single moment or memory that I would trade to reverse time, even the days of reflux and teething. I've discovered some of her favorite activities while trying to soothe or distract her.

Happy birthday to you, little one, and may the years to come be as blessed as the first!