Mama Drama!

I wanted to make a Thankful post tonight, but instead I feel like I should write on a topic that has been bothering me.

I've seen it all over the place lately: mothers putting down other mothers, women insulting women, and always over petty issues. It's ridiculous. And I don't care if you do it without naming names, or if you hide it under the veil of "just your opinion". Your opinion, when you express it in a way that is derogatory, inflammatory, and self-righteous, can hurt people. And if you're okay with that, all I can say is that I'm sad for you.

I say 'you' not because I have anyone in mind, but because we have all been guilty of it. I have, too. It's so easy to sit in judgement, to pretend we know best. But what's the point? Who are we helping when we raise ourselves on a pedestal? And how will it ever change the world for the better?

If I were to bring my past self forward in time and tell her to give her opinion of my life, I think she would judge me harshly. After all, my daughter barely naps, gladly ignores the word 'no', climbs like a maniac, and sleeps in our bed despite my best efforts. I never thought this would be me. The only thing separating the two of us is the experience of raising the offspring, but it makes a world of difference. So how can you possibly criticize someone without knowing what they have gone through? What makes you think that your so-called success could repeat itself in their situation, or that your choices would make them happy?

I do have something to be thankful for. I have met a unique community of women with low doses of drama, gossip, and general unpleasantness. Some of us have nothing in common other than having children born in the same month, but we get along. Every woman should be able to find that kind of support system, but too often someone decides to be catty, or worse. It can ruin a woman. Words hurt.

Next time you decide the internet is your personal high horse, think again. If you really want someone to hear you, try treating them with respect. Educate instead of lecture, think instead of rant. Remember that your words have power, but with power comes responsibility.

Yes, I had to make that reference. This is a nerd blog after all.